Do the Catfight
by RS-V22
Summary: When Skitty suddenly winds up in the world of genderbent Adventure Time, Cake begins to feel suspicious that the cute pink kitten's planning to rip her apart from Lord Monochromicorn, who's convinced that Skitty's totally harmless. Fionna thinks so, too, and so it's Cake's job to expose Skitty for the faking poser she is...But is she really?


DO THE CATFIGHT

"Sheesh, Cake, will you look at that lightning," Fionna said as she watched the storm from the window of their treehouse.

"I know, girl, just plain sca-_ary_," Cake replied, peering around Fionna's shoulder to watch the storm, too.

Beemo was fast asleep, utterly oblivious to the raging wind and the continuous rainshowers. (Beemo's genderless, so there's really no point making a genderbent version of this character.) And that left Fionna and Cake making eyes on the tragic weather.

"Girl, we've been staring out this window watching lightning bolts and rain!" Cake complained. "Let's go to sleep!"

"H-hold on, Cake, what's that?" Fionna gasped.

Just then, a mysterious light came from the cloud nearest to the mountains. It flashed for a half-second, then it seemed to have shot down to the ground with bullet speed.

"Cake, did you see _that_? It's a shooting star!" Fionna squealed.

"I don't think so. It didn't _look_ a shooting star, as far as _I_ could tell," Cake said doubtfully.

"You can't spoil it for me! Well, fine! I'm making a wish!"

"Go ahead." Cake said, inflectionless despite Fionna's stinging tone. "While you're busy wishing over your fake star, I'll be going right on ahead to get some shut-eye. I'm supposed to be meeting boyfriend tomorrow. Let's hope, for _your sake_, that it really _was_ a shooting star. Then I'd wish that the storm would be gone by tomorrow." But before she walked toward her bed, she looked through the window just once more, wondering what the strange light was about. It seemed...out of place. It was like it didn't belong there in the Land of Aaa; like it would've belonged had it been anywhere else, but not _here_.

Cake just shrugged and hopped into bed, all while trying to shake off the weird feeling that she wasn't going to like her meeting with Lord Monochromicorn tomorrow.

* * *

"Hah! What'd I tell you, Cake!" Fionna exulted. "The storm's gone like you 'wished' last night! I told you it was a shooting star!"

Cake just rolled her eyes. "I'm off to meet boyfriend—if you're off to brag out, why don't you just scoot over to Prince Gumball's place?" She then enlarged herself and stretched her legs to execute long bounds to close the distance.

"See you, Cake!" She heard Fionna call after her.

The trip to Lord Monochromicorn's place took surprisingly less time (and by less time it only took Cake about four-and-a-half bounds), so it meant Cake was early, which was a good thing for her. It made her blush to imagine all the extra time added to hang out with _him_.

"Sugar, I'm here!" she called joyfully.

The ridiculously long black unicorn appeared above. He descended down to greet Cake.

_Hi, Sweety,_ he greeted back in Morse code.

"I'm so glad the weather finally cleared up! I was worried I'd have to cancel out on you—you _know_ how much I just _hate_ doing _that_, and—" Cake stopped abruptly, realizing she was babbling. Then she decided to close the short pause caused by her cut-off sentence. "Speaking of, what'll we be doing today, honey?"

_I wanted to go to the forest, since the Forest Witch said she was gonna plan an awesome party with all the animals included, but first I wanted to introduce you to someone new here,_ Lord Monochromicorn said in his language (which Cake could understand—obviously) as he gestured to a slight figure lurking in a shadow among the trees. _I happened to find this strange creature in the midst of all the rainshowers last night. She was hungry and cold, so I had her stay with me for a while._

Cake stiffened. Was her tail frizzing out? She looked back to check. Yes, it _was_ frizzing out! But what for?

_Come on, don't be shy,_ Lord Monochromicorn urged.

The mysterious figure then stepped out of the shadows. It was shorter and smaller than Cake, and it was dominantly pink. Its tail was less furry; it was thin, but the very end was puffed out with a bulky pink that was terminated with three pin-like shapes. Its head was large (in which it was a lopsided, cream-colored, crescent-shaped marking), its body was stumpy and its legs were short. The eyes…well, they were probably closed, as far as Cake could tell, since their shape was slit-like. The ears were tufted with purple interiors.

But other than the bizarre features, it was not only a feline figure; it was also clearly a _female_ figure.

Cake spluttered. "Hon, just what _is_ that?"

_I don't know,_ Lord Monochromicorn said. _All I know was when I read the words inscribed in the locket I found with her, it seemed to claim that this creature's name is Skitty. But whether that's the name for the creature or the name of its species, I have no idea._

The creature gave no gesture that it understood Cake and Lord Monochromicorn's exchange; it seemed to be busy chasing its own tail.

_It looks adorable,_ Lord Monochromicorn commented in Morse code, eyes following the pink female kitten.

Cake blanched in disbelief. She couldn't believe what she was hearing!

"Well, yeah, she does look cute, but—" Cake began, but stopped cold when she noticed that Lord Monochromicorn seemed to be paying _full_ attention to Skitty.

Skitty then yawned hugely (but adorably), then dozed off to sleep.

"Glad she's asleep," Cake muttered under her breath, so low Lord Monochromicorn didn't have a prayer of hearing. Then she turned to her boyfriend smugly. "So…that leaves the two of us, right?"

With a smug smile, she trudged off toward where the Forest Witch lived. "Come on, dearest, we can't be late for the party!"

_Hold on,_ Lord Monochromicorn said. Cake turned to him in shock and saw that his eyes were still focused on Skitty.

Cake hissed low, and muttered inaudibly, "Please tell me it has nothing to do with _her_!"

_She's asleep._

"And so…?"

_Well, we can't just leave her here alone. Besides, she's just a kitten; she can't really take care of herself. And when I found her, I promised to take care of her._

Cake gaped. In that very second, she was stunned into silence.

_I'll look after her, Cake so don't worry,_ Lord Monochromicorn said. _She'll be safe with me._

But Skitty's safety was the last thing Cake would worry about. "Dear, we might be late for the Forest Witch's party!"

_Go on without me. I'll be looking after Skitty; I can't let her out of my sight. If something were to happen to her…._

Cake stood aghast as she heard the impossible words:

_Go on without me._

Cake stood, fuming. But underneath her fury, she also felt a sharp pang of jealousy. She'd hoped (wished, whatever) for the rain to stop—and it had—so she could spend a day with Lord Monochromicorn, only to be stood up by a kitten!

Unable to stand the sight of Skitty, she trudged off. Only she was not going to the Forest Witch's party—she was going _home_!

Going (well, more like stomping, rather) farther away from the two and grumbling incorrigibly to herself, she could've sworn that, from the corner of her eye, she saw a gesture Lord Monochromicorn made to Skitty that clearly translated, _Adorable little kitty_.

Cake felt like she wanted to retch.

* * *

And so, no thanks to Skitty, Cake's day was officially ruined. Thinking about it made her start grumbling incorrigibly again, and she was still grumbling when Fionna and Beemo returned to the Tree Fort that evening.

At first neither Fionna nor Beemo noticed Cake's sullen expression. Totally oblivious, Fionna babbled endless. "If only you where there, girl. Beemo and I went hiking over the mountains where we nearly got eaten by a bunch of vultures! I managed to fend them off, all while running away! Then Beemo managed to scare them with a weird screeching noise, and—" She finally cut off when she noticed Cake's lack of excitement. "Girl, you okay?"

"Now how can I even _be_ okay?" Cake spat, though the bitterness in her voice was not meant for Fionna.

"What happened, Cake? Something tells me your meeting with Lord Monochromicorn didn't end up...very well."

Cake got all hissy and began to rant. "Can you believe the nerve of that pink kitty-cat, owning and messing with _my_ boyfriend! Boyfriend's convinced that she's 'just a kitten' but _I_ know better! I _know_ she's up to something! Imagine—she shows up, chases her own tail like a fool, acts all cutesy"—her eyes got all googly, making a parody of Skitty's cuteness—"and then, she owned him! _My boyfriend!_"

Fionna rolled her eyes. "And _you_ say that _I'm_ naïve when it comes to relationships."

"Girl, I know that kitty's up to something! I can feel it! That's why my tail frizzed out when Lord Monochromicorn thought of introducing her to me! She's determined to take boyfriend away from me!"

"Slow down, girl, maybe you're jumping to conclusions. Maybe it really is a cute little kitten and—"

"And what? 'And maybe I'm exaggerating'?" Cake finished angrily. "Not you, too, Fionna! I'm not allowing my best friend to be taken away from me, too!"

"Okay, okay, tomorrow let's go see this pink kitten you've been ranting about and get to the bottom of this."

"First thing in the morning."

Beemo just shook its head at the two girls. (Wait, Beemo has a "head"? Well, it has one whole rectangular body, and a screen for a face, so...the term "shook its head" shouldn't be taken literally.)

* * *

"I still feel like you're exaggerating, Cake," Fionna muttered as the two were hiding in the bushes.

"That's what they all say—easier said than done," Cake scoffed. "But just wait! The end will justify the means!"

Fionna meant to say more—she opened her mouth to speak—when Lord Monochromicorn came out, with Skitty!

Cake's nostrils flared. "That's the boyfriend-stealer! Even her name—Skitty—clearly shouts out, 'Hey, I'm out to steal your boyfriend and since I'm so cute, I've won his heart!' "

Fionna murmured, "Nope, I don't see anything threatening about her at all, Cake. And what was the name? Skitty? Nah, her name doesn't scream anything violent. And I don't get why you're so against her. She's so cute."

"That's what she wants to _make_ you think!" Cake snapped.

"Shh, Cake, Lord Monochromicorn might hear us!" Fionna shushed as Lord Monochromicorn turned to their direction. In response, the two concealed themselves deeper.

Lord Monochromicorn looked at Skitty like he was cooing silently at her (much to Cake's chagrin) just as Skitty _meow_ed adorably. With the pink kitten still on his back, Lord Monochromicorn took off to the air.

"We've got to follow them!" Cake bellowed. She shifted to an enlarged form and shouted to Fionna, "Let's go, girl!"

The two (sneakily) followed Lord Monochromicorn and Skitty all the way to the fields and hid among the branches of a tree. It seemed like Lord Monochromicorn was looking for something in the bushes. Before either Fionna or Cake could think more about it, Lord Monochromicorn came back with a bunch of pink berries and offered them to Skitty, which she chewed cutely. After eating, Skitty waved her tail back and forth (Fionna stared at it, calling Skitty a "cute kitten"), and Lord Monochromicorn, once again, looked around for something. After a while, he came back with a rubber ball.

At first, Skitty merely looked at it, then she tossed it up with her tail and started juggling it. Cake could've sworn she saw Lord Monochromicorn blush despite his black complexion.

Cake merely stared at her boyfriend and the pink kitten, disbelieved. Then:

"Let me at 'er! I'm _so_ gonna rip her to shreds!" Cake screamed as she launched herself out of the tree and aimed her claws toward Skitty. Skitty merely looked up, seemingly unable to understand Cake's screams; Lord Monochromicorn stared at Cake with an expression that read shock.

"If _you're_ gonna grab _my_ boyfriend from _me_ and focus all _his_ attention on _you_, well you've gotta deal with me first!" she hissed as she swiped her claws at Skitty, which—surprisingly—she managed to dodge.

Lord Monochromicorn continued to stare in shock as Cake kept swiping at Skitty at the same time the latter kept dodging nimbly.

Fionna groaned to herself, "Ah, what's gotten into Cake _now_?" Then she jumped down from the tree and ran toward the two cats. "Hey, Lord Monochromicorn," she greeted the black horse breathlessly.

With an alarmed look on his face, Lord Monochromicorn made a gesture in Morse code, which Fionna couldn't understand.

"Cake, I don't know Morse code!" Fionna whined.

Cake hissed as she spoke, while swiping at Skitty some more. "He—was—asking—what—was—going—on!"

"Well," Fionna fidgeted, "Cake's jealous—"

"—I'm not—jealous!" Cake protested.

"—that Skitty's getting all the attention out of you, and so she thinks—"

"—I _know_," Cake corrected.

"—that she's trying to steal you away from her," Fionna continued smoothly despite Cake's constant interruptions; she rolled her eyes and waved her hand in a gesture that read, _Cake's overreacting_.

Lord Monochromicorn looked at Skitty then at Cake. Skitty was clearly enjoying herself as she dodged Cake's claws and swipes; it was easy to know the whole thing was a game to her. Cake—she was dead serious; the whole thing definitely _wasn't_ a game to her.

Lord Monochromicorn shook his head, and communed, _Cake, stop this! You're being ridiculous!_

"I'm not ridiculous because I'm protecting you from this piece of poison! I'll save you before it's too late!" Cake growled.

"Cake, really, I don't see anything bad about Skitty at all," Fionna said.

"Don't be fooled by this kitty's cute exterior—she's rotten inside!" Then Cake jumped up and prepared to dive on to Skitty and shred her head off. But just as Cake closed in on her...

Skitty surprisingly blew out a huge gust of icy wind and, within seconds, Cake was entrapped in ice. (Skitty here is using the "Blizzard" attack move.)

"Cake!" Fionna gasped.

"I...told...you she...was...rotten," Cake mumbled despite being frozen.

"That is _so_ cool, Skitty," Fionna exclaimed, then as she noticed Cake she quickly added, "Oops, sorry 'bout that, Cake."

Cake seemed to be muttering while in her frozen state.

Fionna drew out her sword. "Don't worry, Cake, I'll get you out of there!" But as she was about to swing her sword she heard some noises from Cake that kind of sounded like, _"No! Are you mad?"_

"Huh?"

"_Girl, you swing that sword and what are the chances I won't lose a limb?"_ Cake was hissing with stiff, frozen lips that it seemed almost impossible for Fionna to understand what she was saying.

"Oh," Fionna mumbled. "There _has_ to be another way..."

Lord Monochromicorn made another Morse code gesture that was lost to Fionna.

"_He's suggesting that y'all should try to beat on it until it cracks,"_ Cake answered before Fionna could ask.

"Uh, okay, that works, too!" Fionna clenched her hands into tight little fists and prepared to punch the massive piece of ice. _"Take this!"_

And she punched on the ice while Lord Monochromicorn kicked on it with his hoof. Skitty stood there, studying the two with open curiosity. Then she walked toward the ice and began swinging her tail.

"_Quit that stupid juggling trick!"_ Cake hissed in the ice. _"When_ I _get out of here I'll show you some_ real _talent!"_

But Skitty wasn't juggling. Instead she slapped beat her tail on the ice repeatedly like Fionna with her fists and Lord Monochromicorn with his hoof. (This time, Skitty's using the move "DoubleSlap.")

"Thanks, Skitty," Fionna said. "We could sure use a little help!"

Cake made a grunting noise.

After a few minutes of repetitive beating, kicking, and—in Skitty's case—tail-slapping, the ice finally gave in and cracked, then within seconds, broke into a million tiny fragments across the area.

Cake lay face-down. Then she stood up and looked at the pink kitten with blazing eyes. "I'll rip your head off!"

Before she could be an inch apart from Skitty, Fionna interceded, standing between the two. "Cake, stop it! Your jealousy is starting to get the best of you!"

"I'm not—," Cake began again.

"Oh yes you are." Fionna grinned teasingly. "You're green with envy. I know Lord Monochromicorn's your boyfriend and all, but Skitty's just a kitten. So girl, you better not get all worked up just for attention's sake."

Cake craned her neck around Fionna to glare at Skitty, shuddered, then relaxed just a little. She sighed. "I guess you're right, Sister. Maybe I'm just not used to another cat getting all of my boyfriend's attention. I can't believe how naïve I was—fighting a little kitty just for the impression that she was plotting to steal Lord Monochromicorn away from me...Ha! Talk about an overactive imagination!" She threw her head back and laughed, then pretty soon Fionna and Lord Monochromicorn joined in.

Skitty came toward Cake, holding a pink berry, offering it to Cake, which she took (happily) and said—with a slight grimace, "Uh, thanks...Skitty."

But then as soon as she took a bite, the very same flash she'd seen during the storm two days ago flashed again—this time right in front of her!

The berry Cake was eating choked down her throat. "It's that same flash of light again!" she screeched.

The light only lasted for a full (but long) second, and the moment it disappeared...

"Skitty!" a female voice cried with surprise and pleasure.

Right where the light had appeared and disappeared, there stood a girl with brown hair, strangely suspended at the sides while the rest looked like they were shaved—but not to the point of baldness (ugh, I'm not sure if I can describe May's hairstyle properly) and blue eyes, sporting a red bandana, which was also the same color of her shirt and shoes. She was wearing a white skirt and dark blue leggings that went above the knees, and her socks were black. She had white gloves on, too, as well as a yellow waistpack around her body.

And she looked _very_ much different compared to the rest of the people and creatures Fionna and Cake had seen in the Land of Aaa.

"Skitty!" she called with sheer happiness.

Skitty _meow_ed with excitement as she happily ran toward her Trainer.

Fionna, Cake, and Lord Monochromicorn looked at the two with confused eyes.

The girl noticed that and quickly said, "Oh, I'm sorry—I forgot...My name's May. This is Skitty, though I'm sure you already know her."

"Uh, hi," Fionna said nervously. "I'm Fionna."

"And I'm Cake." Then she gestured to the black horse. "This is Lord Monochromicorn."

Lord Monochromicorn made a gesture in Morse code that read, _Hi there_.

"I'm sorry if you got into a lot of trouble while Skitty was around—did you three have a hard time?"

"Hard time? You wouldn't _believe_ what—," Cake began to say, but Fionna clamped her hand over Cake's mouth and quickly said, "Um, what Cake meant was she and Skitty definitely had a lot of fun together."

"If you're wondering how Skitty, ended up here, there was a sudden distortion that took place between the boundaries of both our worlds. And because of that, Skitty ended up in the wrong series." (Now how'd May know _that_?)

The three looked at May like she was speaking a language none of them knew.

"Anyway," May added. "Because of that, Skitty missed a couple of episodes in the _Pokémon_ series, and so I had to use Torchic for my Contest..." She trailed off when she realized that none of the _Adventure Time_ characters would understand a word of what she was saying.

"Well, you don't need to worry—Lord Monochromicorn kept Skitty in good condition. He made sure the little kitty was kept healthy and safe," Fionna said.

"I'm glad," May said warmly. Then she faced Lord Monochromicorn. "Thanks, Lord Monochromicorn. I'm grateful you took good care of Skitty for me. If you ever accidently wind up in out series, I'll repay you when I can." Then she smiled at Skitty, who stifled a yawn. "Tired, huh? No wonder—this whole thing must've been bizarre even for you. Well, it's time to go."

A strange thing happened. A small part of the area distorted; the fabric of space seeming to bend like it did. After a fraction of a second, and for the third time, the light appeared. But it was different for one thing—it seemed to suck the whole of matter into it (and by "whole of matter" I meant every particle that made up the area). It didn't take long before the light began to resemble a portal.

"Okay," May said. "I guess this is goodbye. Thanks again for taking good care of Skitty, everyone." But before she could step closer to the portal that would take them back to the _Pokémon_ world, Skitty suddenly hopped out of May's arms and rubbed herself against Lord Monochromicorn (cats are known to do that, right?); then she rubbed her tail against Fionna's legs (which made her feel ticklish) and finally—but surprisingly—curled her tail around Cake for two seconds before she let go. After that, she went back into May's arms.

Cake felt awful. She'd assumed and done so many terrible things to Skitty and the whole time the little pink kitty liked her so much. So to ease up the terrible guilt, she waved goodbye to May and Skitty as they jumped into the portal and went back to their own world.

"Goodbye, y'all!" Cake shouted, all while trying to swallow the lump of emotion that built up in her throat.

The three of them waved and watched as the portal began to close and disappear altogether. And after that, there was no more.

* * *

Fionna and Cake returned home to the Tree Fort. They were just about to have a snack when Beemo practically ran toward them and shouted, "Hey, girls, look who I found! This fella appeared literally out of nowhere right here in this treehouse.

Alarmed, the duo followed Beemo to their room, where they saw a green dinosaur sporting red sneakers. He was snacking on some cookies.

The dinosaur felt their eyes on him. He looked at them, and, with a smile he shouted, "Hi, I'm Yoshi!"

The End...?


End file.
